at Blissfully Domestic, where I am now a monthly contributor.  This is a post from my blog archives but, in the future, there will be new content.

I have been feeling hopeless…and heartsick.  As I type those words I am reminded of a verse in Proverbs.

Delayed hope makes the heart sick... – Proverbs 13:12 HCSB

I have been feeling as if there is nothing anyone can do to change my circumstances.  I find myself feeling defeated…not just for myself, but for others that are in far worse situations.

I have been following this family for so long that I feel as if I know them…and she is feeling quite heartsick, too.

Life is just not easy for anyone.  It’s just a stressful thing.

I know that I quote Beth Moore quite often but, seriously, she is just very quotable.  In one of her studies, she says that she will often pray for God to just be big in her situation. This morning, as I was in the shower, I couldn’t help but think…I need you to be bigger, God.  Be bigger than the disappointment.  Be bigger than the worry.  Be so big…that You are all I see.

My quiet time this morning was in Matthew…the story of Jesus feeding a multitude of people…over four thousand people.  A few things stood out to me.

God is not oblivious to the needs of His children.

This massive crowd had been following Jesus for three days and He knew they were hungry.  It doesn’t say that they complained to him about their hunger.  They didn’t moan and groan about the lack of food.  He just knew what they needed.

For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. – Matthew 6:8 NKJV

Even the most devoted believers can not comprehend the power of the Lord.

As I spoke with a friend recently about the last year and all of the craziness that has been life…I made the comment, I guess I just keep going because nothing can change anytime soon. Nothing can change.  It is what it is.  My dear friend stopped right then and prayed over my situation and she made the statement…God, I just pray that you would surprise her. I have to admit…I may not have heard much of the rest of the prayer.  I just thought to myself…I have limited my God…as if He has to only work within my earthly circumstances…within the same boundaries I have to work within…as if He could not surprise me. I sometimes act as if God is a really good friend that loves me dearly, but is not capable of doing for me much more than I could do for myself.

Even the disciples would often forget…

The disciples said to Him, “Where could we get enough bread in this desolate place to fill such a crowd?” – Matthew 15:33 HCSB

How ridiculous…to be seated next to God Himself…and look at the circumstances and basically say…Nothing can be done here.  Look around.  It is what it is.

How ridiculous, indeed.

Look around, God.  This is my situation and there is no solution in sight.  How can any good be found in this desolate place in which I find myself?

How ridiculous…when I live as if I have.no.King.

God Provides.

God is not just enough…He is more than enough.  He doesn’t just take the edge off the pain or hunger…He completely satisfies.  When God fills our cup…it overflows (Psalm 23:5.)  It overflows.  And, when He feeds us, we are filled.

They all ate and were satisfied. Afterward the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. – Matthew 15:37 NIV

They were satisfied.

I love that there were seven baskets of food leftover.  He could have provided just enough.  He is God, after all.  He knew exactly how much each person could and would eat.  But He made sure there were leftovers.

Sometimes, God doesn’t just want to show up…sometimes…He wants to show off.  Not for Himself, but for us.  Because I, for one, often need a reminder of the bigness of my God.

So, I say…Go ahead, God.  Don’t just be big…be bigger.  Don’t just show up…show off.  Remind me, and all who are watching, that we serve an amazing God.

We have a gutter in our tree.

It’s so high up that we have not been able to remove it…and it has been there since 2005.

There was a tornado that year in our small town that devastated neighborhoods, left families homeless and sent debris flying for miles.  I remember walking through yards and finding photographs and household items.

When I got home…there was a gutter from someone else’s house…wrapped multiple times around a limb 75 feet in the air.  The tornado did not even come through my neighborhood, so I don’t know how far that piece of metal traveled. It’s a constant reminder of the strength and force of that storm.

I couldn’t help but think of that day when I read this verse…

The Lord has His way in the whirlwind and in the storm… – Nahum 1:3

I have felt like I have been in a bit of a whirlwind myself these days.  Things I normally find security in have been taken from me.  I have been thrown into circumstances where I have absolutely no control.  No longer can I finagle things to work out in a way I think they should.  Everything is spinning around me and I keep reaching out for something to steady me.

However, the things I keep reaching for…they keep moving.

Finances…people…work…Nothing is providing the security that I need.  One by one, the things that I have relied on in the past are proving themselves unreliable.  And doubt has begun to creep in…doubt is an ugly thing.

…for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. – James 1:6

If I don’t know my true source of security…if I have no anchor to hold me in place…if I doubt who is in control of the storm…I will be tossed about by every wind that blows.

However, I do have an anchor…

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure… – Hebrews 6:19

My hope, Jesus, is the anchor for my soul.  He is the source of my comfort and security.  Though storms come and winds blow and earthly things prove themselves unreliable…

Though circumstances arise that are beyond my control…I will not be driven and tossed by the wind for I have this hope as an anchor.  That hope is that the Lord is in control and He will have His way in the whirlwind and in the storm.

There was a lot of climbing…

And running…

And sliding…

And bouncing…

And pickin’…

And trickin’…

And treatin’…

And smiling…

And sugar…

And, thank goodness, an extra hour of sleep.

On Monday morning, I realized that it was crazy sock day at Emily’s school.  Emily doesn’t own any crazy socks and I was not about to go to Wal-Mart at 5:00 a.m. in search of any.

Monday evening…I pretended to forget it was gymnastics day because I was so.very.tired.

On Tuesday, it was wear your favorite team jersey day.  Emily doesn’t have a jersey.

On Wednesday, it was wear red day.  Does a hair bow count?

Wednesday evening…I realized I had forgotten to do the Christmas shoe box for Emily’s Missions class.

On Thursday…Well, I went to bed at 8:30 p.m. because all of the forgetting this week has flat wore me out.

Then, this morning, it was wear orange day.  These daily emphasis weeks are killing me.  Seriously, people.

And, tonight, we have a birthday party at one of those fun house places sure to be filled with pizza, crying kids and germs.

Sometimes…only country music will do…Sing it, George.

Set our eyes on You…Devastate us with Your presence…

Thanks to Melanie for posting this video.

I took this picture the other day because I thought….what a ridiculous sticker to put on your car…

Then I thought…No.  Ridiculous would be a pregnant lady kneeling down in a parking garage to take a picture of a bumper sticker on the off chance that she may want to use it in a tweet or blog post.

What has become of me?

I have been reading Psalm 55 this week.  David is writing about the betrayal he has endured at the hands of a friend. How are you supposed to handle betrayal?

If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me,
I could hide from him.

But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,

with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship... -Psalm 55:12-14 NIV

A friend.  A close friend.  What do you do with that?

I kind of laughed when I read the next verse…Let death take them by surprise. That seems a bit extreme.  However, I believe what David is saying is…let what will happen to them happen.  The consequences of their actions are in God’s hands.

But…as for me…David continues…I will call upon God…Evening and morning and noon I will pray.

I have been thinking about this a lot this week as I have been have a friend who has been betrayed by someone close to me them.  And I she was totally hoping that the proper response would be anger and indignation and confrontation.

I still remember something Beth Moore said during a conference several years ago.  She said that, when someone has wronged you, the best position for you to be in is flat on your face before God.  Because, when God’s holy hand of judgement swings, you do not want to be in its path.  Let those who are standing tall and prideful take the wrath.

That is the same conclusion David has come to in this psalm.  He will pray and he will plead his case before God and…God will hear and afflict them (verse 19.)

So, there you go.  Bumper stickers and betrayal…all in the same post.  How is that for random?

I will leave you on a happy note though…

Could you not just eat her up?

You just need a little Dolly…and some random Disney characters.

I just love these girls…

I mean…how can I not?  They are adorable!

Emily informed me on Saturday that two of her barbies had gotten married.  Everyone will be happy to know that both ladies picked boys that love Jesus. She then said that she can not wait to see who her daddy will pick for her to marry…yes, apparently we are into arranged marriages…How much is a dowry these days?  I may need to start saving for the appropriate number of goats.

Ella has become quite the complimenter.  Mommy, you so cute (although, it comes out coot.)  Mommy, you look pretty. Granted, when she says pretty, it sounds like petty…but, I’m quite certain she means pretty.  And, these compliments she gives…I am not swayed by them at all.  I would give her anything she wants anyway. She.is.just.that.coot.

And, as if there weren’t enough cuteness in our house…in 10 weeks and 2 days…Sarah will be here!

Do you ever see someone who has exactly what you have been praying for?

Have you ever looked at someone else’s life and thought…Okay, Lord, what about me?

I remember, in my youthful-and-pitiful-and-desperately-wanting-a-boyfriend days, I was obsessed with a song called Someone Else’s Star.  It’s by an artist who was popular for a season and has now probably resorted to performing at state fairs and Dollywood.  The chorus begins…I guess I must be wishin’ on someone else’s star…It seems like someone else keeps getting what I’m wishin’ for…Pitiful, I know.

Yet, as I was reading in the book of John this morning, I realized two things…One – I haven’t changed all that much.  I’m still looking at what other people have and feeling quite slighted…Two – This habit of always looking at someone else and questioning the fairness of life is nothing new.

Let me set the scene…

Jesus has just informed Peter that, in his old age, he would be killed and his death would glorify God.  Jesus tells him that his hands will be outstretched – indicating a martyr’s death by crucifixion.

I can only imagine the horror that Peter must have felt.  There are certain things about my life that I do not want to know…the manner of my death being high on the list.  So, I can completely understand Peter’s response.

Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following…

Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, ‘But Lord, what about this man?’ – John 21:20-21 NKJV

My first thought is…Well, that is a very legitimate question. I’m going to die this horrible death?  Okay…what about him?

Peter is referring to John, the beloved disciple…the one who laid his head on Jesus’ chest during supper…the disciple known as the one whom Jesus loved.  I imagine that Peter was hurt.  But Lord…what about him…the one you love so much…what’s going to happen to him?

I must say that I was shocked by Jesus’ response.

Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” – John 21:22 NIV

Basically, Jesus responds…That would be none of your business, Peter.  You need only concern yourself with following me.

That one verse was like a slap in the face to me.

That would be none of your business, Stacy.  What I choose to give to someone else?  What I choose to do for someone else?  What is that to you?  Your only concern should be following Me.

That, my friends, was a bitter pill to swallow…God does not owe me any explanations.  He is under no obligation to explain Himself or His plan to me…and, if He did, I still wouldn’t understand it.  It’s beyond me.  That’s why I am not to concern myself with it.

I was a little down this morning having learned yesterday of another friend who will be leaving work to stay home with her children.  I was, most definitely, bringing to God’s attention the fact that…Hello.  I have been asking for that very thing.  Why her?

And God, not so gently, responded…

What is that to you?  You must follow Me.