What am I pursuing?

That thought has been running through my mind this morning…

I was cleaning out a bookshelf over the weekend and came across a journal of sermon notes that I took in 2004.  I don’t take sermon notes anymore and I’m thinking that I probably should.  As I flipped through the pages, I just happened to land on some notes from a sermon on contentment.  My eyes were drawn to a quote from my pastor, Bro. Glenn.

As long as your pursuit is of happiness…you will likely not ever find contentment.

What am I pursuing?

We are told in Psalm 34 to seek peace and pursue it.

Hosea tells us to pursue the knowledge of God.

Paul tells us in 1 Timothy 6:11 that we are to pursue righteousness…godliness… faith…love…endurance and gentleness.

The writer of Hebrews tells us to pursue peace with everyone and holiness. This passage goes on to warn against bitterness, which can cause trouble and defile many. I can’t help but think that bitterness creeps in when we are in pursuit of the wrong things…

So…What am I pursuing?

The Lord is not opposed to happiness.  We are told that Whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he…He who has mercy on the poor, happy is he…Happy is he whose hope is in the Lord…Happy is the man who finds wisdom…

The Lord is not opposed to happiness…the key, however, is that happiness is not the goal.

The goal:  To trust in the Lord

The goal:  To have mercy on the poor

The goal:  To place our hope in the Lord

The goal:  To seek wisdom

Our goal is not happiness.  Our pursuit should not be of happiness.

What am I pursuing?

My baby has sick breath.  I don’t know what other moms call it, but that is how I refer to it.  Before the cough kicks in…before the stuffy nose…before the fussiness…I know it’s coming…because of the sick breath.

This morning…she had it…and it broke my heart.  I just wanted to snuggle with her on the couch and watch Mickey Mouse.  I wanted to make her a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch and cut it in the shape of a heart.  I wanted to pretend to eat her nose because she giggles uncontrollably when I do that.

Instead, I had to kiss her sweet face and go to work.  And I had to be reminded once again that I, despite the desires of my heart, am not a stay at home mom.

Not that I really needed the reminder.

It’s Monday…

It’s cold…

I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I’m tired…

And the vending machine is out of strawberry Pop Tarts.  Whoever thought that the brown sugar variety was an acceptable substitute was sadly mistaken.

And my baby has sick breath.

Something about eighteen-wheelers makes me smile.

I don’t get nervous driving on the interstate with them.  I always let them merge in front of me when everyone else is desperate to not get stuck behind them.  I know better than to drive in their blind spot or to follow too close.

I know to beware of the ones my dad calls “two blinkers”…those who put their directional on, let it blink twice, and then change lanes regardless of who is in the way.

I’ve had my share of meals at truck stops.

I was the only seven year old who knew all the words to On the Road Again, Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Roses and a multitude of other songs that no one else my age had ever heard of.

My dad’s handle was Mr. Clean and I would love to listen to all of the other truckers on the CB.

I’m familiar with the terms…road gator, Smokey and bobtail.  (Go ahead and look them up…I’ll wait.)

Too many times to count, I stood in my front yard and watched him drive away.

Our family photo albums are full of pictures of trucks…that just happen to have my brother and I standing in front of them.

I’m thankful that my dad’s free spirit hasn’t gone away over the years…

Yes, we are a free spirited people.

Like Pa…like granddaughter…

Born to be w-i-i-i-ld….

But Zion said…my Lord has forgotten me. – Isaiah 49:14

My Lord.

Not the great God of the universe.  Not the glorious King of kings.  Oh, He is all of those things and more.  However, when it hurts the most is when it feels as if my Lord has forgotten me.  The One that I have loved and sought and have so desperately wanted to please…

My Lord has forgotten me.  I think I know that feeling.

David knew the feeling…

How long, O Lord?  Will You forget me forever? - Psalm 13:1

I am forgotten like a dead man, out of mind… - Psalm 31:12

Jeremiah felt it on behalf of the people of Jerusalem…

Why do You forget us forever… – Lamentations 5:20

My Lord has forgotten me.

Yes…I know the feeling.  But that is all it is…a feeling.  It is not fact.  The facts are that, according the Scripture, a mother may forget the very child she is nursing…

Yet I will not forget you. – Isaiah 49:15

That is the Lord’s promise to us.  That is my Lord’s promise to me.

I. will. not. forget. you.

See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands… – Isaiah 49:16

We are ever on His mind.  Our cries always reach His ears.  Our pain is His pain.

We are precious…honored…and loved (Isaiah 43:4.)

When I feel that…My Lord has forgotten me…I will hear Him say…I will not forget you.

Then I will know…and believe…and understand that He is God (Isaiah 43:10.)

How long did it take me to teach my child that the tags on your clothes go in the back?  Or how to tell if her shoes were on the right feet?  Then…the school has Silly Sally Backwards Day.

And, yes, she is holding her pants up…she is not wearing high-waters.  I must say, it goes against everything in me to watch her walk out of the door with her shoes on the wrong feet.  And her clothes on backwards…

Of course, I may have picked an outfit that looked almost exactly the same as if it were being worn correctly.

And…who decided that chocolate cupcakes with blue icing would be a great dessert for Wednesday night supper at church?

My children tend to be…not the neatest eaters anyway…

And, this…seriously…it is so many kinds of wrong to have dogs riding on your motorcycle with you…

It is a danger to those poor dogs…and the crazy lady trying to take their picture while driving 70 mph down the interstate.

Happy Friday!

]]> http://servantsheart.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/my-week-in-pictures/feed/ 14 Stacy emshoes em cupcakes ellapizza motorcycle http://servantsheart.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/how-many-kings/ http://servantsheart.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/how-many-kings/#comments Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:00:47 +0000 Stacy http://servantsheart.wordpress.com/?p=1723 ]]>

Follow the star to a place unexpected
Would you believe after all we’ve projected
A child in a manger

Lowly and small, the weakest of all
Unlikeliest hero, wrapped in his mothers shawl
Just a child
Is this who we’ve waited for?

Cause how many kings, stepped down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
How many Gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that has torn all apart?
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?

Bringing our gifts for the newborn savior
All that we have whether costly or meek
Because we believe
Gold for his honor and frankincense for his pleasure
And myrrh for the cross he’ll suffer
Do you believe, is this who we’ve waited for?
It’s who we’ve waited for

How many kings, stepped down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
How many Gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that has torn all apart?
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?
Only one did that for me

All for me
All for you
All for me
All for you

I have always loved Psalm 45:11…

The King is enthralled by your beauty… – Psalm 45:11

The idea that the Lord would find us beautiful…it just speaks to a woman’s heart.  It definitely speaks to this woman’s heart.  Yet, I know that the beauty the Lord is seeing is not on the outside.  I came across this verse a couple of weeks ago and have been meditating on it…

Instead, it (beauty) should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. – 1 Peter 3:4 NIV

The New King James Version says that such a spirit is precious in the sight of God. I, for one, want to be precious in the sight of God.  I want to have a gentle spirit.

I looked up the word gentle in a couple of study guides and found that it is referring to meekness and humility.  It means to have a spirit within us that trusts in the goodness of God and in His control over any situation.  The gentle person is not occupied with self at all.

To trust that God is good…to give complete control over my life to Him…to not be occupied with myself…to seek to serve…to be gentle…that is precious in the sight of God.

The word translated gentle here is the same word used to refer to Jesus.

…for I am gentle and humble in heart… - Matthew 11:29

…See, your King comes to you, gentle and riding on a donkey… – Matthew 21:5

No wonder that we are precious in His sight when we are gentle and meek and trusting…we remind Him of His Son.  And He finds us beautiful.

He finds me beautiful when I trust in His goodness…

He finds me beautiful when I accept His control over my situation…

He finds me beautiful when I am not occupied with myself at all.

As I was doing a little research on the word beautiful…I found a wonderful verse.

Your eyes will see the King in His beauty… – Isaiah 33:17

The One who finds us beautiful will also be found beautiful.  One day, we will see Him as He is and I.can.not.wait.

Now, my beautiful daughter…is also a sister in Christ.

For more Gratituesday posts – visit Heavenly Homemakers.

at Blissfully Domestic, where I am now a monthly contributor.  This is a post from my blog archives but, in the future, there will be new content.

I have been feeling hopeless…and heartsick.  As I type those words I am reminded of a verse in Proverbs.

Delayed hope makes the heart sick... – Proverbs 13:12 HCSB

I have been feeling as if there is nothing anyone can do to change my circumstances.  I find myself feeling defeated…not just for myself, but for others that are in far worse situations.

I have been following this family for so long that I feel as if I know them…and she is feeling quite heartsick, too.

Life is just not easy for anyone.  It’s just a stressful thing.

I know that I quote Beth Moore quite often but, seriously, she is just very quotable.  In one of her studies, she says that she will often pray for God to just be big in her situation. This morning, as I was in the shower, I couldn’t help but think…I need you to be bigger, God.  Be bigger than the disappointment.  Be bigger than the worry.  Be so big…that You are all I see.

My quiet time this morning was in Matthew…the story of Jesus feeding a multitude of people…over four thousand people.  A few things stood out to me.

God is not oblivious to the needs of His children.

This massive crowd had been following Jesus for three days and He knew they were hungry.  It doesn’t say that they complained to him about their hunger.  They didn’t moan and groan about the lack of food.  He just knew what they needed.

For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. – Matthew 6:8 NKJV

Even the most devoted believers can not comprehend the power of the Lord.

As I spoke with a friend recently about the last year and all of the craziness that has been life…I made the comment, I guess I just keep going because nothing can change anytime soon. Nothing can change.  It is what it is.  My dear friend stopped right then and prayed over my situation and she made the statement…God, I just pray that you would surprise her. I have to admit…I may not have heard much of the rest of the prayer.  I just thought to myself…I have limited my God…as if He has to only work within my earthly circumstances…within the same boundaries I have to work within…as if He could not surprise me. I sometimes act as if God is a really good friend that loves me dearly, but is not capable of doing for me much more than I could do for myself.

Even the disciples would often forget…

The disciples said to Him, “Where could we get enough bread in this desolate place to fill such a crowd?” – Matthew 15:33 HCSB

How ridiculous…to be seated next to God Himself…and look at the circumstances and basically say…Nothing can be done here.  Look around.  It is what it is.

How ridiculous, indeed.

Look around, God.  This is my situation and there is no solution in sight.  How can any good be found in this desolate place in which I find myself?

How ridiculous…when I live as if I have.no.King.

God Provides.

God is not just enough…He is more than enough.  He doesn’t just take the edge off the pain or hunger…He completely satisfies.  When God fills our cup…it overflows (Psalm 23:5.)  It overflows.  And, when He feeds us, we are filled.

They all ate and were satisfied. Afterward the disciples picked up seven basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. – Matthew 15:37 NIV

They were satisfied.

I love that there were seven baskets of food leftover.  He could have provided just enough.  He is God, after all.  He knew exactly how much each person could and would eat.  But He made sure there were leftovers.

Sometimes, God doesn’t just want to show up…sometimes…He wants to show off.  Not for Himself, but for us.  Because I, for one, often need a reminder of the bigness of my God.

So, I say…Go ahead, God.  Don’t just be big…be bigger.  Don’t just show up…show off.  Remind me, and all who are watching, that we serve an amazing God.